Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Sample Revision Cover Letter

If you choose to revise your paper, your cover letter should have a format similar to this one. Please note that this does not mean you may copy and paste my words into your letter.

February 13, 2011

Dear Ms. Lemieux:

Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Unit 1 paper. After consulting your endnotes, rereading the paper and discussing your suggestions and my questions in your office, I’ve made the following changes:

· I moved the thesis statement from the second-to-last paragraph to the first, which will situate the reader and focus my argument from the beginning of the paper.

· I eliminated first- and second-person pronouns throughout the paper. In many cases, I simply eliminated excess phrases; in other cases (as on page 3, paragraphs 1 and 2 and on page 4, paragraph 3), I re-worded sentences to eliminate the imperative tense and phrases like “as you can see.”

· I expanded the concrete analysis of my argument by supporting each analytical claim in the paper with concrete evidence from the argument. Examples appear in every paragraph except the first and last; I have chosen to use bold text to indicate concrete support rather than list all the paragraphs here.

· I changed the paper’s font to Times New Roman.

· I corrected usage errors (“there” vs. “their” and “your” vs. “you’re”).

I also visited the Writing Center, where I worked on eliminating run-on sentences. On pages 2, 3 and 4, I separated several run-ons into shorter sentences.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

J. L. Student

Joseph L. Student

8 comments:

  1. Dear Professor Webb:
    Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Writing Project 1. After consulting your endnotes, rereading the paper and your helpful writing meeting, I’ve made the following changes:
    1. I added the header with my last name and page number.
    2. I underlined the key terms from the vocabulary lists in textbook.
    3. I changed some word choice based on your feedback and my later review.
    4. I corrected my mistakes in word tense and grammar.
    5. I added a paragraph to conclude Lanahan’s point in “Need a College Degree to Get a Job” to explain how recent phenomena of degree inflation can intensify the problem of unequal education and its unfavored result for my audience.
    6. I added reference in forms of MLA citation at the end of my paper.
    7. I reviewed my paper and gave more direct explanations about the terms that may make my audience confuse through reading process.
    Thank you for your time!
    Sincerely,
    Bonny G. Student

    ReplyDelete
  2. Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Unit 1 paper. After consulting your endnotes, rereading the paper and discussing your suggestions and my questions in your office, I’ve made the following changes:
    1. I have changed verb tense throughout the passage.
    2. I have add sentences to address my readers
    3. I have corrected several misuse of words
    4. I have revised my citation page so that it looks more formal
    5. I have paraphrased several sentences that are not clear enough.
    Thank you for your time.
    Sincerely,
    Jiaxuan H.

    ReplyDelete
  3. May 2nd, 2022

    Dear Professor Webb:

    Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Unit 1 paper. After consulting your endnotes, rereading the paper and discussing your suggestions and my questions in the class, I’ve made the following changes:

    1. I have changed my word choice from some outdated word to vocabs we are using today
    2. I shortened the amount of word I spend on describing how the mathew effect plays a role on hokey games, thus shifting the focus to education.
    3. I edited my works cited page and my in text citation to make my essay more formal.
    4. I fixed my grammar problems you pointed out in your end notes.
    5. I revise my conclusion from a single sentence summary to a description for each of my paragraph's main idea and a call for action.

    Thank you for your time.
    Sincerely,
    Arthur Ma

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. May 10th, 2023

    Dear Professor Webb:

    Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Writing Project 1. After consulting you in class, rereading the paper and your annotation, and following your suggestion and instruction, I’ve made the following changes:

    1. I have changed some of my word choice to more proper vocabs, such as inner-city communities.
    2. I correct my grammar errors and wrong verb tense.
    3. I edited my works cited page in alphabetic order in a new page to make my essay look more formal.
    4. I add more personal experience as examples to address the audience in the second and their body paragraphs.
    5. I revise my conclusion from a single sentence to a description for each of my paragraph's main idea to make it stronger.

    Thank you for your time.
    Sincerely,
    Yungong Wang

    ReplyDelete
  6. June 10th, 2023

    Dear Professor Webb:

    Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Writing Project 2. After consulting you in office hour, rereading the paper and your annotation, and following your suggestion and instruction, I’ve made the following changes:

    1. I have changed some of my word choice and word form, such as “epic history” and “logics”.
    2. I correct my grammar errors and wrong verb tense.
    3. I underline five vocabularies in my essay that I learnt from class.
    4. I add more details about 10000 hours rule in the fourth body paragraph as transition to address the main topic better.
    5. I revise some of my sentence to make them more logical.

    Thank you for your time.
    Sincerely,
    Yungong Wang

    ReplyDelete
  7. November 2nd, 2024

    Dear Professor Marie Webb:

    Good evening professor Marie Webb, it's very cold during night, so please keep warm. And there are my answers about the question of Outline Reflection Paper:

    1.
    2. I didn't use Chat GPT or other artificial intelligence to help me organize ideas for my paper or generate other ideas for content for my body paragraph. I organize the ideas for my paper according both the experiences of my own and other international students'.
    3. I chose the paper whose writer named Ziwen Jin because her name is similar with my Chinese name and her paper is more happiness.
    4. I included data from Ling 3A class surveys in my outline and it's in the second body paragraph.
    5. I included at least 2 of Ling 3A course readings as evidence in my outline and they are in the second and third paragraphs
    6. No, because I want to try to complete the first draft without Chat GPA.
    7. I think the MLA citation style for citing something from Chat GPT is easy to follow.

    Thank you for your time.
    Sincerely,
    Zhewen Jin/Jack 10:00am

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Professor Webb,

    Attached to this letter, please find the revision of my Linguistics 3A Writing Project. After reviewing your feedback, participating in class discussions, and revisiting my outline, I have made the following changes:

    I refined my thesis to be clearer and more specific, ensuring it better aligns with the main argument of the paper.
    I added relevant data from our Linguistics 3A class surveys in the first and second body paragraph to provide stronger support for my analysis.
    I included additional references from “Why some international students are silent in the US classroom” and “For Chinese Students in America, It’s Hard to Make Friends” to strengthen my argument in the third and fourth paragraphs.
    I improved transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow and better guide the reader through my points.
    I revised informal language and replaced it with more precise vocabulary to maintain an academic tone throughout the paper.
    I simplified complex sentences for clarity, particularly in the body and conclusion sections, to make my points more accessible.

    Sincerely,
    Marie-Charlotte Yvenat
    1. Yes, I used ChatGPT to help brainstorm ideas for organizing my paper. It was particularly helpful in suggesting structures for my body paragraphs and generating examples of topic sentences.
    2. I organized my paper by outlining main points that mirror the progression of challenges and growth described in “Language-Sickness.” I started with an introduction that sets up the significance of language difficulties and their impact on identity. Each body paragraph addresses a specific aspect: the struggle with communication and its effects on confidence, the dual identity shift, fear of judgment, and the journey from discomfort to acceptance. I used detailed examples from Xiyuan Zhang’s essay and course readings to provide support. This approach allows the paper to move logically from identifying the problem to illustrating how individuals navigate and overcome these challenges.
    3. I chose to summarize and respond to "Language Sickness” because it closely relates to my own experiences as an international student. The challenges discussed resonate with the themes of cultural adaptation and language barriers, which I explore in my writing.
    4. Yes, I included data from our class surveys in the first and second body paragraphs. This data supports my points about language challenges and their impact on social integration.
    5. Yes, I included Zhang-Wu "Myth 4 English is Responsible" and ‘Why some international students are silent in the US classroom’ in the first body paragraph and "For Chinese Students in America, It's Hard to Make Friends" in the second body paragraph. These readings helped build context and supported my main arguments.
    6. No, I do not plan to cite ChatGPT in my first draft because I only used it for organizational guidance. None of its content or wording is directly quoted in my paper.
    7. Yes, I found the MLA citation style for ChatGPT manageable after reviewing examples from our syllabus. I don’t have further questions on it currently.

    ReplyDelete